Welcome to Thunderdome!!!

Joes Barbell
Comments Off on Welcome to Thunderdome!!!

“Listen all! This is the truth of it. Fighting leads to killing, and killing gets to warring. And that was damn near the death of us all. Look at us now! Busted up, and everyone talking about hard rain! But we’ve learned, by the dust of them all… Bartertown learned. Now, when men get to fighting, it happens here! And it finishes here! Two men enter; one man leaves.”

I had the worst dream ever last night.  From what I can remember I was in a car chase and somebody was force feeding me bagels.  When I woke up I was in a cold sweat and my mouth was dryer than Caroline’s liter box.  Eliza also had an interesting dream about going into labor.  Worst part about her dream is she thought her water broke.  Which means she may have peed on me in her sleep?  After rehashing our dreams, Wick went off to work and I began to piece together two essential baby widgets; the Pack and Play and the “BOB.”  Before I get into the horrible details and my inadequacies regarding directions, let me tell you about these items.  The Pack and Play seems to do everything under the sun, accept what I really need it to do; actually change the diapers.  “BOB” is the stroller that the bad guy from mad max would have push his spawn around in if Mel didn’t set him straight.  The “BOB” is big, black, has a serious suspension, adjustable front wheel, and bigger rear tires than the Susuki Samurai I used to cruise around Texas in. 
Putting BOB and the Pack and Play together was interesting to say the least.  Again, directions and me just don’t mix.  I take them well but read them for pooh.  Aside from having to read everything 13 times before it sinks in, I really seem to be having issues distinguishing my left, right, top, and bottom.  I also never know which right or left the direction wizards are referring to.  Not to mention, the BOB Trailers Inc. people and Graco people, who make the Pack and Play, write their directions in completely different ways.  For instance, this Revolution Stoller guide makes statements like, “The quick release is a cam device and must be used correctly to supply the necessary clamping force to safely hold the wheel in place.”  While Graco directs, “snap tubes together as shown,” and provides a clever little color coded picture.  It was crazy messing around with two baby items, from two great companies, who speak completely different languages.  Maybe this is an early insight into child-rearing.  Each day will be its own little adventure, consisting of frustrating, rewarding, and exciting experiences.  And, in the end, if I get through it without being peed on I’m doing alright.