Notes From the DDC: Love is a Battle Field

This may come across the wrong way but here goes nothing.  In the next couple of days, hopefully, Szymanek Hawaii will bring a second child into the world.  With that in mind I just don’t think I’ll be able to love each of my babies the same way.  As a teacher, coach, brother, son, and just all around guy wondering the earth establishing dominance I have engaged many different people in many different ways.  Over that time I can say without a doubt I do not love, hate, think about, nurture, or care about any one person the same as any other.  I can’t imagine that this is going to change with my children.  Sure, I’ll love them both unconditionally, hopefully.  That is until they decide shave the cat, repaint their room, or forgo the arranged curfew for some other arranged time that they have negotiated with their cronies.  Sure, I’ll do all that I can to provide them both with every opportunity to succeed.  Sure, I’ll protect, teach, and guide them through childhood hope hope hoping that each gets their crap together and leaves the nest without wrecking one of the family cars or losing the cell phone.  But, I just don’t think I’ll love both equally or in the same way.  They are bound to be different, right?  And, I’m bound to treat each of them a little differently based on those differences, right?  My question to the few of you who enjoy my rambling is; is that ok?  Will that make me a bad parent?  I have half jokingly (more like whole heartedly) made the statement that I will play favorites and love one of my children more than the other.  I have also joked that if I’m doing my job right as a parent both of my children will argue that their father loves the other child more.  My thought here is that if they think I love the other more, then they’ll battle each other in a war of do-gooderie to become champion of the Daddy Bowl (a competition that is already underway lasting until my last breath).  Everything is a competition right?  Isn’t that how we get the best out of people?  Why should it be different as a family? 
Maybe I’m missing the mark, being overly honest, or just have no idea what’s coming as hurricane baby numero dos looms on the horizon.  I could also just be freaking out knowing that a second baby is coming, that I’m not prepared for it, and that there is nothing I can do about it.  I could also be under estimating the amount of love my heart is capable of dishing out.  I still love my wife as much as ever with the presence of the boy (who I also love to death).  I could also be right and will know right away that yes, I like one of my children more than the other (daddy’s little secret).  But isn’t that really the spice life, the not really knowing for sure what’s going to happen?  I didn’t know how Mason was going to handle being my co-coach at 808 and look what he is doing now.  I can’t promise that I know how I’ll act regarding my babies when they are both staring at me.  I do know that if one of them is guilty of shaving Carolina (my pee happy bipolar tabby cat) they’ll take the number one seat in the Daddy Bowl Standings.  Until number two is sitting on my lap I’ll just ponder the following verse and hope for the best (give it a click and you’ll get a surprise).  

Oh yeah, and I guess I’ll also know I’m doing my job right if neither of my babies runs off, becomes some sort of prostitute, or writes a song and makes a music video about my mistreatment of their person.  Although, I would be a very proud papa of either child organized a dance fight against a pimp and still found the time to write a letter home to their brother or sister about it.  There goes the over thinking again.  Hope you enjoy the Benatar!!! I did!!!    

2 Comments. Leave new

Think you nailed it with two points. 1 you'll love them both unconditionally. 2 they'll both be different. Since they'll be different and completely unique in their own crazy way, what will be different is the way that you show them número uno…idk, not a parent, just a thought.

And your blog kicks ass btw

thanks Skinny! I'm just a dad working this stuff out as I go. Glad you like the blog. spread the word and shoot me an email or comment anytime. depending on how long you have been following I'm all over the place with what I write about. who knows you might stir up a post worthy conversation. thanks again and keep following and spreading the word.